Domestic Violence Facts: Is Your Husband a Wife Beater?

Is your husband a wife beater? Or do you know someone who is a wife beater? Once again the legal system and media are demonstrating America's favorite thought disorder: polarized thinking. It must be Either-Or. It must be All-or-Nothing.

It makes everything seem so simple. If you're a wife beater, you're all bad, and you alone own the problem. That analysis is simplistic and wrong.


Domestic Violence Wife Beater



In my 9-1/2 years in divorce court, I have seen domestic violence that is caused by different kinds of relationship problems in couple and married life of many kinds of people. Offenders are people like farmers, firemen, clergy, police officers, social workers, doctors, lawyers, and others. Some are rich; some are poor. Some are educated, some are not. They are our fathers, our brothers, our friends, and our neighbors. A few of them are our mothers and sisters.

Men who abuse their wives are neither heroes nor thugs. They are complicated human beings with flaws. I have never yet seen an offender who was 100% thug. When you hear their life stories, you will feel compassion, unless your mind is closed. But it does not mean that it is not a crime. Laws against wife beaters should be maintained strongly to prohibit this.

Of course, their unfortunate life experiences do not excuse their violent behavior, but their experiences often do explain violent behavior. We need to understand the causes of domestic violence before we can develop strategies to stop wife beaters.

Mainly there are 4 types of domestic violence. They are-

Physical Violence.
Sexual Violence.
Emotional Violence.
Economic Violence.

In all of them the first one is the most common for our women. Even we came through news of husband beating wife during pregnancy.

At first we have to admit that a husband beating his wife is a crime. Then we have to go through all aspects of this issue of domestic violence which is mostly an outcome of gender discrimination. It was a matter of shock for me that how a husband beat his wife. Then I started to follow this issue. And tried my best to find why husbands beat their wives and when husbands beat their wives. 


Domestic Violence Wife Beater





Suggestion: How to Deal with Beating Husband?


If you are a lady who is a victim of a wife beater husband, you might need to apply some tricks to your husband to make him easy. You might want to know how to attract men easily so that you can attract him to you so that he can get out of depression and love you instead of beating you. 

All I am suggesting is: try to heal his pains. But I am never appreciating domestic violence and husband beating wife. All I am saying to the women folk that please see if your husband is in pain. If you support him properly may be that bad phase of domestic violence will never come in your life.

Only after we can feel compassion for the domestic violence offender and recognize him to be a complex human being can we expect to make inroads against the tragedy of domestic violence. So long as we believe that men who abuse their wives are just plain thugs, we will do what O.J. Simpson's friends did, that is to deny that the problem exists in our circles of friends and family.

We have had some success in convincing people to accept the principle that friends don't let friends drive drunk. We also need to promote the principle that friends don't let friends abuse their spouses, physically or verbally.

We need to make it O.K. for a friend or neighbor to intervene in domestic violence by reporting it. But friends won't report it if it means society will label their friend a "bad" man. Nor will friends report domestic violence if the result is a criminal prosecution. We need to know that if we "turn-in" a friend for abuse, the system is there to help.



Domestic Violence Wife Beater



In addition to changing societal attitudes about domestic violence, we need to respond to domestic violence with aggressive, multi-modal treatment programs that teach anger management and address the feelings of dependency and inadequacy which drive most offenders. No one should ever be told, as O.J. Simpson reportedly was, to call a psychiatrist now and then. We also need to provide education for the victims of abuse and the children who often witness the violence.

Domestic violence is a complex social problem. Simplistic Either-Or thinking won't begin to provide solutions, nor will fix the blame on individual men who abuse. We all own this problem, and we all need to work toward solving it, beginning in our own homes and neighborhoods. Wife beaters has to stopped and it is a must.

If the husband never agrees to the point that what he is doing is wrong and continues to do it then for sure he is a criminal. And in that case there is no soft words for him. Let the laws against domestic violence punish him. And you start a fresh.

1 Comments

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